Dealing with Jerks on the Job!

1) The member who always complains.
It doesn't matter how good your convention was, he will point out the perceived errors he witnessed.  If you had only worded your Executive Director's column in a different way, it would have sounded better. He will phone to point out a typographical error in your newsletter. He claims the association doesn't do anything of value, he simply rejoins out of habit.  Often this type of random criticism results from the member being unaware of the process involved in planning an event or researching a new service.  If this member picks on an event or service in particular, the best way to silence his criticism is to get him involved. Challenge him to help correct the "problem" he sees.  Place him on a committee, task force, or other ad hoc team.  Once he witnesses the decision making process firsthand, he will likely become one of your strongest supporters.   

2) The "oil and water" Member.
There always seems to be one individual with whom you simply cannot become friends. It seems the harder you try, the more they revel in turning a cold shoulder to your overtures.  Whether it is simply a personality conflict, different perspectives or difficulty figuring out the other person's sense of humor, they have decided they don't like you and there is little you can do to change the situation.  Unfortunately, these individuals are always officers of the association, key committee members or prominent leaders. You need to be able to work with them.  But How?  Find a staff person with whom they get along.  Use that individual as a buffer when communicating with the "oil and water" member.  Try not to make it obvious that you are avoiding interaction with the individual, but let the staff person make routine contacts and follow up calls when you can defer responding to a question to your staff person. Your staffer may be able to discover the root of your member's animosity toward you.

3) The Board member who is full of opinions - after the meeting is over!
Every Board seems to have one member who, while intelligent and knowledgeable, refuses to offer opinions during meetings about topics under discussion.  Immediately after the meeting, he/she pulls you aside and explains how each issue should have been resolved, or why the program the Board just approved won't work. Try to challenge the Board member to speak up during the meetings, not after they are over.  Explain that complaining to you as Executive Director about a Board decision is meaningless, and that they must offer their opinion while the issue is on the table.  During your next Board meeting, make a point of calling on that member during discussion of policy issues. By bringing out all opinions during debate, you can get the Board member involved more effectively and avoid the post-meeting complaint session.

4) The senior employee who is an "expert" at everything.
This individual has the longest tenure with the Association.  They were passed over for the Executive Director's position - twice.  But a friendly personality and helpful nature makes him/her popular among junior staff members and highly credible. Just ask him/her a question.  They are an "expert" in everything.  Unfortunately, you have noticed a change in the "expert's" demeanor.  They are not cooperative, are slow to implement the Board's or your directives and are starting to criticize you and your decision making to other employees.  "Camps" are beginning to form of loyalists to either you or the "Expert".  You must confront this behavior privately with the "expert".  If possible, give responsibility for a project directly to this person, as they may feel they are no longer a management insider and are becoming resentful. Often, by attempting to re-energize this person with a special project, they can become part of the team again and rebuild their self esteem.  If the "expert's" behavior doesn't change, it may become necessary to dismiss the individual.  More damage will likely be done to the organization if he/she stays on staff and undermines your decision making than will result from replacing the individual with a less experienced person.

5) The "hotshot" Board member who thinks you're a jerk!
This ‘hotshot" Board member typically comes from a large organization, pays high dues and feels that they are bigger than the Association itself. The "hotshot" enjoys reminding you (and not always in private) that "I have 10 executives that I pay  more than we pay you!" This person knows it is important that you gain their approval, and as a result they will make it impossible for you to succeed.  Their ego is fed by your overtures, and they want everyone to believe you need him more than he needs you.  How do you resolve this dilemma?  Stop trying so hard. Make every effort to treat this individual as just another Board member.  This doesn't mean you ignore or criticize the "hotshot". But don't permit the "hotshot" to force you to place him on a pedestal. Your other Board members need to see you are not bending over backwards to gain approval from this self-proclaimed V.I.P.  They understand his game, and will respect you for not playing it.

6) The member with his own agenda.
Often this person is a past president, current Board member or an influential member.  You get at least two phone calls a week from this person, and each call is a request - make that a demand - that you perform some specific task, provide some special research, write a letter on his behalf, or suspend established procedure to "do me this one favor".  The first several times he called, you or a staff person complied with his wishes as you would attempt to respond to any member who called with a request.  But the "to do" list has gotten out of hand, and he looks at you and your employees as his own personal staff.  How do you reverse this process?  Next time he calls, insist that you need approval from the President or Board before you can dedicate Association staff and resources to his request.  Give your President a "heads up" phone call that the member may call him/her to lobby for your cooperation on his project.  If your President is aware that the member is taking advantage of the Association for a personal agenda, you will likely have support in stopping the inappropriate behavior.

7) The spouse who thinks she is a Board member.
I am going to pick on the ladies with this example, but this behavior is not limited to either gender.  A new Board member is elected, and at the convention you discover the new Board member's spouse has all sorts of ideas for future site selection, speakers, meal selections and other ideas which are usually too crazy to consider. She insists you proceed with her ideas, and even asks that you phone or e-mail her with updates on your progress.  How do you politely stop this unwanted advice?  First, you must avoid being put in a position of either deciding on the spouse's recommendations or having to say no to her requests.  Next time a conversation starts about a future course of action she is recommending, stop briefly and bring her spouse (the Board Member) into the conversation.  By deflecting her ideas to him for review, you have now made her idea one for Board consideration, while separating yourself from offering an opinion on the discussion.  As an alternative, ask her to put her idea in writing so you may submit it to the Board or appropriate committee for review. Odds are she won't take the time to respond.  If she does respond, make sure her Board member spouse is aware of her correspondence so he is not caught off guard by her participation.

When one considers the thousands of people we interact with as association executives, it is only natural that occasionally we will be faced with the unpleasantness of a difficult personality.  While one's instinct might be to strike out verbally at such people, rarely is anything gained in the long run by this reaction.  (Although, you must admit, sometimes it would really feel good to tell some people exactly what you think of them!). A successful association executive must be a planner, leader, manager, counselor, friend and most of all... a diplomat.  I remember on one occasion, I privately thanked the Lord for restraining me from telling off a particularly obnoxious person. I found out later the individual was the guest of our keynote speaker!

Until next time...

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